My Creativity Comes Before My Child. Here’s Why.

 Photo Credit goes to Artist: Devany of Serpent Fire Tarot

Photo Credit goes to Artist: Devany of Serpent Fire Tarot

I’m not the devoted one who bakes the muffins, packs the lunches, takes delight in playing with toys, and feels really excited about less solo time in the bathroom. Okay, I don’t know a single mom who is excited by less time in the bathroom.

I’m not completed by the role of mother. Gasp, I said it. Motherhood isn’t it for me.

I didn’t know until he was born. I didn’t know until I held him to my bare chest for the first time. I didn’t know until his unhindered birth bumped my self-expression to the top of the list.

I’m the creative entrepreneur mom, the one who writes late at night after bath and bedtime.

I’m the mom who sometimes gets on an airplane and goes away. The one that savored every nap, and sometimes napped at naptime, too, but mostly got creative, or got creative building more ways to be creative.

I’m the mom who needs her creativity to orient, to understand — to know herself.

When she doesn’t know herself, she gets lost. She’s not as connected to God / Source / Love.

She’s not sure what her Heart is saying. Her emotions go unprocessed. She’s more reactive, and there’s a nagging at her throat to say something to someone who can understand.

I relate to the mom who still wants to hike alone so she can cover more ground, and the mom who pulls out her phone at the park, to write down her next idea, and the thoughts that follow.

I’m the mom who LOVES when her child is occupied with a creative activity, so I can spend time in my own creative process, too.

When she doesn’t have that time, she can’t rest well. She’s unsettled. Antsy. Time is falling like sand, and she knows she’ll die one day, and isn’t there something she came here to do?

As I’m writing this, he’s pulling at my sweater and begging me to allow him to use a lighter (he’s four now and wants to light candles himself). I’m reasoning with him — actually bribing him, “let me write for ten minutes, and I’ll bring you to the health food store for a chocolate chip bar.”

You know what Julia Cameron, the author of The Artist’s Way, said about creativity and parenting, right? I’ll paraphrase: so much of the pain that children experience manifests through the unlived desires of his or her parents.

I’ll say that again in a different way: your creative dissatisfaction is a disservice to your child(ren).

This is a hats off to all the moms, today. You’re healing the planet by healing yourself, as your children grow. They see you, and they know.

And this is a nod to the creative mothers, who put a heavy emphasis on meeting their own needs first, and then meeting their creativity, in the dark.

Your full cup, is our full cup. I see You.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Big Love,

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Why Charging For Your Gifts is Scary + What to Do About It Now

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It can be scary to put a price on your spiritual gifts.

Just recently, as I started opening up space in my calendar to take on hand's on 1:1 appointments for maya abdominal work, I have come back around to this lesson.

It seems like there is a line in the sand between charging for certain things, and charging for others, and for me, charging (more than I used to) for bodywork, is an edge, but one that I am being asked to explore and examine.

Here's what I think about charging for your gifts (and what I hope serves you):

It's scary to charge for your gifts because they are so natural to you, and they are a joy to give. Sometimes, they are so natural to you, that they feel like a part of who you are. Because they are an extension of who you are, it can feel scary to put a price on that.

Also: because they are natural to you, and a joy to give, that presents a challenge to everything you've been programmed to understand about what work actually is.

I believe the concept of work is evolving, and that each and every one of us, is a part of that evolution. There are decisions you get to make today, that your mother and grandmother did not have access to.

These thoughts might come up when you go to price your offerings/services:

+ Who am I to charge that?

+ Who do I think I am charging for that?

+ Nobody is going to pay that.

+ Shouldn't my healing work be accessible to everyone?

Charging for your gifts requires that you understand and acknowledge your very own uniqueness. There is no one else who is You. No one. Not one. There is no one with the same childhood, who has traversed the same challenges and lessons, in the unique way that you have.

I feel it's revolutionary to charge what feels right to you, for your gifts.

I think it's changing the economy, the world, and our creative lives. I think it's starting to eliminate the martyrdom that's still so pervasive in our society. And I think it requires a constant coming home to yourself, as good enough, exactly as you are.

Big Love,

 

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Musings on Orgasm + Upper Limits (Your Body Knows + An Exercise for You to Try Today).

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If you’ve been in my circle for a while, you know that I believe your body is a powerful initiator, and that it’s always communicating to and through You.

Here’s a relevant story: The other night, despite being turned-on, and approaching ovulation, I could not experience an orgasm. It’s not that I need to be at that point in my cycle to have one. It’s not that I couldn’t relax enough. It’s not that I experience trouble like this frequently (I’ve had other chapters, though).

It’s that, orgasm just doesn’t happen for me, when a part of me is resisting good things that are happening in my world, and when good things are trying to enter my life.

My body knows. Whenever I am ‘in line’ to receive something I’ve been working toward, or intending, or envisioning, my body tells me where I need to get my mind on board.

In this case, I needed to ‘let myself have it’ (the good things trying to enter my life). But, I needed to have an inner conversation with the part of me that felt ashamed, guilty, and not good enough, first.

I’m going to bet, that if you’re here reading, that you experience a similar version of this yourself (not letting yourself have it) especially if you struggle with feeling not good / smart / intelligent / beautiful / worthy enough, sometimes.

One of my missions, is to help you cultivate a deep connection, with this kind of relationship to your body, and to your sexual energy. I want you to know that you can trust your body, as your wise guide, and as the mostaccurate compass you’ll ever know.

While you’re walking the path of allowing your Heart-centered desires to come to fruition, it’s vital that you make a regular practice of declaring your worthiness, to yourself. One of my favorite ways to help women access their worthiness is by prompting them to, c h a r g e themselves up with their sexual energy.

And more often than not, on the way to learning to consistently charge ourselves up, we meet parts of ourselves that need our attention and Love.

So here is an exercise for you to try, at home (if you want to):

  1. Go to a sacred and safe space/room where you can be alone, and undisturbed. Light a candle. Burn something, maybe a candle, that smells wonderful.
     
  2. Identify something that you really really want (but that you sometimes judge yourself for wanting) and bring it to your mind’s eye. See it, and feel it, in your heart.
     
  3. Pleasure yourself (if you’re not sure where to start, begin with a gentle breast massage).
     
  4. Visualize yourself receiving your Heart-desire, while you self-pleasure.


It doesn’t matter if you orgasm or not. It doesn’t matter if this feels easy, or awkward at first. It doesn’t matter if you actually believe you’re going to receive what you want. What matters most is that you’re inviting ALL of You on board. Your entire mind-heart-body -- your Divine physiology.

If this exercise is bringing up resistance, or fear, feel free to email me about it (just hit reply to this email). I would love to learn more about exactly where you are, and how I can help you live your most authentic and aligned life, by working with your body.

Big Love,

 

"I LEARNED HOW TO GRACIOUSLY RECEIVE."

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"Before working with Jillian, I knew I had a lot of money blocks and baggage but I had no idea how to start to do the work of dealing with this obstacle. I felt lost in a life that felt untapped; having so much potential and motivational energy but uncertainty in how to execute it. One of my biggest struggles was to learn how to truly sit back and graciously receive.

Now, I am capable of trusting myself to go into the "scary" places of my psyche; to have discussions that frighten me and to state my Truth. I realized that I don't need anyone to like me because I like myself! I have cleaned up and am taking responsibility for a lot of my part in the previously shame triggering money stories that I had. I manifested the funds to participate in a dream-come-true training to be a certified Gallup Strengths Coach. I'm also able to really be in my body, enjoy receiving pleasure and enjoy co-creating it with a partner."

— Emily Jameson | emily-jameson.com


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