A Recap on My Human Design Reading: How to Design a Profitable Business By Working in Harmony with Yourself.

  Image by: In Her Image Photography

Image by: In Her Image Photography

I recently received a Human Design reading because I was struggling with making decisions in my business. It was liberating in ALL the ways I hoped it would be.

My challenges before the reading were:

Why can’t I stick to my promotional schedule? Why do I always move things around at the last minute? What’s wrong with me that I can’t plan my year (or more) in advance and stick to it? Will I ever be able to scale, or will I continue to work on a moment by moment, quarter by quarter basis.

How can I design my business to be highly profitable, even though I’m super introverted? Like, I just can’t be on the phone TOO much, or on FB Live or IG stories all the time, because honestly I prefer to be alone and half naked in my yard with a journal and a pen.

How can I design the year so that I have plenty of time to write without disruption — time in which I don’t need to show up live to actively promote anything, without seeing a dip in my income (and ideally seeing it rise, consistently)?

I wanted to know: where am I contorting? Where am I out of harmony with my essence and myself? Where can I realign so that this business truly honors me, and my energy, my ideas, and my mission (which is ironically, financial education + liberation for women).

To be completely honest, I also really wanted to know if I was ON THE RIGHT PATH. I mean, do we ever really know if we’re on the right path? Every step of the way there are a multitude of choices and decisions to make. And to move forward, we have to keep making them. How do I know I’m making the best ones?

So, in enters my sister Jordan, who suggests I see her friend Pilar Lesko, for a Human Design reading. I booked my spot in Pilar’s calendar and excitedly awaited my appointment.

When we began the call, Pilar let me know how much the work I do (#PermissiontoProsper) had positively influenced her, and helped her start charging more for her readings. Wooo!

Then, she opened the call.

I sat back and listened deeply for 90 minutes. She hardly stopped speaking. She did check in on me intuitively, but the reading was really a stream of information coming through her, while I stayed receptive, took notes, and drew pictures in my journal to help me remember things.

A thousand realizations occured, but in relation to running a business in alignment with my essence and Human Design type (I’m a generator), here’s what was affirmed:

+ Some of us are NOT supposed to have five year plans. For some of us (me!), a five year plan feels like forcing. Some business experts would say, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there” to which I smile, nod, and pretend I have a clue where this is all going.

+ I actually don’t need to make things happen (initiate things). I need to sit back and allow things to happen, and respond to them based on feeling. I also need to give myself ample time to decide. Side note: Manifestors can successfully initiate, generators (and manifesting generators) are better off waiting to respond, projectors are designed to wait for an invitation, and reflectors must wait longer than all the other types to make decisions.

+ The business experts out there, with models that are working for them, might not actually run a model that works for you. OMGosh. I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars to study with various business experts. Publicity experts. A multi-six-figure business coach. Online business experts. Marketing + strategy experts. Events. Programs. You name it. And, I’ve emulated models that might be profitable for me, but won’t feel GOOD on me, in the long term.

+ My authority type in Human Design is emotional authority, which means that my emotions determine how I make decisions. This means, I make decisions that are not logical, they are based on feeling. I gotta say, those of you out there who have emotional authority, and are entrepreneurs, will be challenged. Sometimes as an entrepreneur, making last minute changes to your plans, based on your feelings, can throw your team off, or your calendar off. For me, I realized I need to be way more devoted to my morning practice that grounds me. I also realized I needed to inform my team that moving things around and making these feeling-based decisions, is MY BEST WAY.

+ There is NO ONE RIGHT WAY. You can design your business, and your business model, the way you want to. Don’t want to take 1:1’s? Don’t. Don’t want to launch more than once a year? Don’t. Don’t want to launch at all? Don’t. You can go the evergreen route. There are so many ways to do this.

+ I have A LOT of energy for what I love. I like to work. It’s how I roll. I check things off the list and I keep going. And, I was SHAMING myself for this, because my good friend is a projector and isn’t really designed to work like me. I thought things like: I’m a total product of the patriarchy. I should rest more. I should probably not want to work. I should slow down, etc. Turns out, all the ‘shoulds’ were not serving me. I’m supposed to roll like this. How. Liberating. I can just be myself. I can work in harmony with this natural desire to burn energy, and make sh*t happen.

Now, Human Design is complex. And by now, you’re probably wondering what your Design type is (if you don’t already know). If you know your type, you’re probably wondering how you can work more in harmony with your essence, make great decisions, make the most of your energy, and access your unique strengths, as you design a business that FEELS GOOD to you.

The great news?

A special collaboration is COMING, and it’s going to help you design a business that you Love and feel nourished by, and not one you want to secretly burn to the ground.

And if you’re just getting started, it’s going to save you time, energy, and money. You’ll learn what you need to about your specific type, AND the business model/marketing strategies, that would work really well for you.

Thanks for reading + talk soon!

Big Love,

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Disclaimer: I am NOT a human design expert, nor do I claim to be. Also: the above realizations were specific to various elements of my personal chart, and may not apply to you.


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+ Help your clients get better results
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+ Make more money, while working far less
+ Relax into trusting yourself and your work, on a new level

Then, this is for you.

 

I Stopped Being a Martyr and Finally Hired a House Cleaner (and It Healed My Most Important Relationship).

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I hated the fact that I was always cleaning. Not only was I angry that I was always cleaning (and never getting anywhere with it) but I was constantly micromanaging my partner to get his help with the tasks I didn’t like doing. 

I would say, “Hey, the toilets need to be cleaned” or “Hey, the kitchen floor is super bad” and then he wouldn’t do it within the time frame I wanted it done, so I would end up cleaning it all, while feeling angry that I was the one doing it. 

*Side note: I don’t like when anyone tries to determine what I do with my time and energy, so I don’t blame him, and this actually isn’t about him at all. It’s about me, and my patterns, and my responsibility to address them, for myself, and for my children.*

Eventually the anger I felt about cleaning, turned into resentment. Why was I the one always cleaning? Didn't we all live here? Why is it that he/they can just relax, while I have to clean? When will I get to enjoy that? How can I change this?

I started the process of hiring a house cleaner (more than once) but couldn’t seem to follow through on actually hiring, so I started to examine this dynamic, with even more curiosity.

What was really preventing me from having more ease, more enjoyment, and less on my plate? It was easy for me to say I wanted all those things, but why was it so hard for me to actually let go of the housework?

The strange truth that I discovered: It was much harder for me to let someone else clean the house, than it was for me to actually clean the house. 

Because if I wasn’t getting recognition through cleaning, what did that mean for my self-worth and self-image? Who was I, and how could I measure my value? The hard truth was that I was really comfortable in the role of ‘the one who cleans’ because I unconsciously used that role to secure love and recognition for myself. 

When I finally hired someone to clean our home on a regular basis, I was forced to explore what might happen if I became a version of myself who didn’t clean, and didn’t suffer for acknowledgement. 

The best part about finally letting go, and investing in the support I knew I wanted?

My intimate relationship with my partner improved drastically. Sex is better. Everything is better. Because I no longer need to be seen as someone who ‘does it all’ I’m enjoying life much more. And because I no longer feel overwhelmed by the cleaning, I no longer try to micromanage his time and energy. 

Suffering for love (aka martyrdom) was something I witnessed as a child, and it was something I continued to perpetuate, until I decided not to anymore — until I decided that my worth wasn’t tied to the results I produced in the home, but rather to the essence of the woman I am. 

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a breeze. 

The part of me that only felt worthy, if she was producing some kind of result, did not want to let that source of recognition go. And if I’m being honest, that part of me still exists and seeks acknowledgement in other ways. 

It took a few visits from the new cleaner for my nervous system to adjust, for me to really relax (instead of fret about while she cleaned), and for me to actually feel worthy and deserving of that kind of support. 

Are you actively examining the ways in which you suffer (or over-work) for love, approval, or recognition? Are you aware of the disempowering ways in which you seek acknowledgement from others?

Are you attached to playing a role that you don’t really enjoy, because you think it makes you a more valuable person? 

It’s time to stop that, 'cause you’re worthy, without the suffering. 

Big Love,

Jillian Xx


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If you want to:

+ Help your clients get better results
+ Create the income required to re-invest in up-leveling your online presence
+ Free up time + energy to strategically create a group program
+ Make more money, while working far less
+ Relax into trusting yourself and your work, on a new level

Then, this is for you.

 

My Creativity Comes Before My Child. Here’s Why.

 Photo Credit goes to Artist: Devany of Serpent Fire Tarot

Photo Credit goes to Artist: Devany of Serpent Fire Tarot

I’m not the devoted one who bakes the muffins, packs the lunches, takes delight in playing with toys, and feels really excited about less solo time in the bathroom. Okay, I don’t know a single mom who is excited by less time in the bathroom.

I’m not completed by the role of mother. Gasp, I said it. Motherhood isn’t it for me.

I didn’t know until he was born. I didn’t know until I held him to my bare chest for the first time. I didn’t know until his unhindered birth bumped my self-expression to the top of the list.

I’m the creative entrepreneur mom, the one who writes late at night after bath and bedtime.

I’m the mom who sometimes gets on an airplane and goes away. The one that savored every nap, and sometimes napped at naptime, too, but mostly got creative, or got creative building more ways to be creative.

I’m the mom who needs her creativity to orient, to understand — to know herself.

When she doesn’t know herself, she gets lost. She’s not as connected to God / Source / Love.

She’s not sure what her Heart is saying. Her emotions go unprocessed. She’s more reactive, and there’s a nagging at her throat to say something to someone who can understand.

I relate to the mom who still wants to hike alone so she can cover more ground, and the mom who pulls out her phone at the park, to write down her next idea, and the thoughts that follow.

I’m the mom who LOVES when her child is occupied with a creative activity, so I can spend time in my own creative process, too.

When she doesn’t have that time, she can’t rest well. She’s unsettled. Antsy. Time is falling like sand, and she knows she’ll die one day, and isn’t there something she came here to do?

As I’m writing this, he’s pulling at my sweater and begging me to allow him to use a lighter (he’s four now and wants to light candles himself). I’m reasoning with him — actually bribing him, “let me write for ten minutes, and I’ll bring you to the health food store for a chocolate chip bar.”

You know what Julia Cameron, the author of The Artist’s Way, said about creativity and parenting, right? I’ll paraphrase: so much of the pain that children experience manifests through the unlived desires of his or her parents.

I’ll say that again in a different way: your creative dissatisfaction is a disservice to your child(ren).

This is a hats off to all the moms, today. You’re healing the planet by healing yourself, as your children grow. They see you, and they know.

And this is a nod to the creative mothers, who put a heavy emphasis on meeting their own needs first, and then meeting their creativity, in the dark.

Your full cup, is our full cup. I see You.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Big Love,

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WANT MORE?

Get the Check-List That Every Healer-Entrepreneur Needs

If you want to:

+ Help your clients get better results
+ Create the income required to re-invest in up-leveling your online presence
+ Free up time + energy to strategically create a group program
+ Make more money, while working far less
+ Relax into trusting yourself and your work, on a new level

Then, this is for you.