Get Good at Receiving: How to Tap Into Your Feminine Essence for More Ease, Abundance, and Pleasure

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I'll never forget the sex advice my mother gave me when I was fifteen. As she sped up the road toward our driveway she said through a mischievous half-smile: "Whatever you do, don't just lay there." 

I didn't realize it then, but that advice was not about me, it was about her. 

It was a combination of her passing on the patriarchy's conditioning that girls should appeal to the opposite sex, and of her own lack of self-worth. I was already having sex at that time, but I didn't dare tell her.

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And you know what? I remembered what she said. I didn't just lay there. I made it good.

I pleased my partners, sure. But I never showed my heart. It never occurred to me that pleasure was for me too. I rarely had an orgasm. I was never cracked open at the core. I never cried during sex either, not then. 

Had that sex advice been about me, and not about how desirable my mom wanted to project that she was, it could have gone something like this: "Your body is sacred, and sex is something beautiful that's shared between two people in love. Sex without love isn't worth it. And sex is not just for your partner, it's for you too. Also, be safe, because sex is the energy that creates life, and if you're not ready to be a mother, you need to understand your cycle and other ways to prevent pregnancy."

But that's not the advice I got. And that's not the advice most of us receive in our youth.

I needed to 'prove my worth' and be 'good enough' in bed to keep a man content and pleased with me. Sex was about making him happy and making him want me, despite the feeling that this was all a trick, and that deep down I felt something was inherently wrong with me. I was flawed and faking. 

Flash forward to now: I have created space for my true feminine essence. I am more myself than I have ever been. On the way, I was required to take a mask off, and then another, and then another. 

I can now embody the feminine. She is with me, she is me. I let myself open. I allow myself pleasure without guilt or shame attached. I know that I am lovable because I exist and I don't usually get caught in proving myself. I feel spiritually wealthy, abundant.

The feminine art of receptivity and the ease that comes with it, is always available to you.

We all want more ease, grace, and pleasure. It's the natural receptive state that is so powerful for women (and men too). It's the essence the brings dreams to your door. It's the essence of b e i n g in the here and now. It allows you to inhabit your body more fully, and to restore vital energy that may have been lost early on in your life. 

All humans have feminine energy and the more we connect with both the masculine + feminine energies within us the more creative we can become as a channel for life. (I am speaking about this outside of gender or sexual orientation).

One of my favorite things to teach is that this balance of masculine and feminine energies (polarity) can be directly experienced within the musculature of the pelvis.

When I started practicing Yoni massage to release trapped energy, I discovered that my feminine side (the left) was weak, numb, and under functioning. My masculine side (the right) was tense with painful trigger points.

Through consistent self-care from both the Yoni massage and through my jade egg practice I have developed a beautiful awareness of my own needs that allows me to grow spiritually, cultivate creative energy, and enjoy my life more than I ever have before. 

What I discovered from my hyper-masculine tendencies:

  • two flexed masculine energies in bed doesn't make for ecstatic union, yin and yang matters.

  • magnetism is much more productive than 'making it happen' by force.

  • floating downstream with ease is always better than swimming up stream

  • women are worthy of attentiveness and pleasure in relationship too

  • there is no receiving without some sort of stillness and non-action

How to tap into your feminine essence:

  • surround yourself with the beauty you love

  • make ritual time to be still every month (I like to do this during ovulation and menstruation).

  • connect your womb to your heart through meditation or self-cultivation

  • try a self-guided Yoni massage to release trapped energy

  • start a jade egg practice and bring loving attention to your pelvis

I'd LOVE to learn from you: Leave a comment below and let us know...

  • What is your favorite way to tap into your feminine essence?

  • What makes you feel open and ready to receive?

  • What softens your heart and moves you from hyper activity to stillness and ease?

Big Love,

Jillian Xx


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  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

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Make Space: 5 Power Practices to a Clear + Creative Womb

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Before I could live on purpose, through conscious co-creation with the Universe, I was required to release the baggage I had carried in my womb unknowingly for twenty years.

The womb, governed by the sacral chakra, is a mysterious realm. It's far beyond a physical organ, just as you are far beyond a physical body. Womb refers to Source, or Origin, and was once called the Matrix (something where something else forms). It's an energy center where all life generates, and not just human life, but the life of your deepest desires. 

The womb is also where you develop a sense of self and then determine how to relate to people, places, events, and concepts. It relates to your financial life, self-worth, and self-expression. It's where you create, destroy, and sometimes hold onto old stuff. 

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When I say hold onto old stuff, I'm talking: relationships that are ready to be re-accessed. I'm talking: pain and trauma from experiences related to menstruation and sexuality. I'm talking: outgrown parent-child attachments and other roles you play. 

The good news is your womb can be easily cleared so that you can collaborate with the cosmos on a deeper level. 

Because you're not here to be the carrier of all the baggage. I declare: You're here to drive your life, full power, in lightness and joy. 

If you want to be in the driver's seat, you've got to trust and let go, but we'll get to that...

First, I need to tell you a story.

In 2012 I was in a self-care training with the Arvigo Institute of Maya Abdominal Massage. I sat in an intimate circle of women while we explored the womb both anatomically and energetically.

After the first class, I checked into my room, and fell into a deep sleep. About mid-morning I awoke from a horrific dream in which I had killed my baby sister (representing my innocence), dragged her body to a murky swamp (representing shame + guilt), and sat waiting with an ex-lover for my crime to be revealed.

In my real waking life, I had cheated on someone with that ex-lover. Selfishness, secrets, bad karma. 

I managed to sit up in the dark and scribble this dream down illegibly. It was deeply cathartic, a cellular level purge. 

That stuff was dark and it had been buried in my womb. After the dream I felt bathed in holy water and held in a blanket of love. It was a miracle healing I didn't know I needed. 

The very next night I awoke mid-morning from another terrifying dream. This time, I was on a treacherous cliff-side.

Not only was I on this cliff, with a storm looming above, but I was hanging out of the window of a dilapidated house, with an iron cable strung from my belly button, that held the weight of a massive car, that dangled forty feet below.

Above me: death storm. Below me: killer rocks and raging ocean. 

The heavy weight, strung from my navel, pulled me down to the depths of hell. I cut the cable and released the weight. It was another dream healing. Goodbye, darkness. Hello, Light. 

The dreams had efficiently cleared my womb of the pain, guilt, and shame that I did not consciously know were a part of me any longer. 

There are many ways to clear your womb of the baggage you've been carrying around. Dream work is only one of them. Because it's a new year, and I know you want to start fresh, here are 5 Power Practices To A Clear + Creative Womb: 

1. INTEND TO LET GO

Intend to make space. Intend to clear out all that no longer serves you. Intention is the first and most important aspect to womb clearing. You've got to decide and commit. See it done. Feel it done. Student of yoga? Try invoking the Hindu Goddess Kali Ma (she is an energy that is already within you) to help you with destruction, death, and rebirth. 

2. TIME IT RIGHT

Practice womb clearing when you're menstruating. Imagine all of the 'old stuff' and the 'old you' becoming your blood and leaving you... f o r e v e r. Let go, Let go. You can also practice womb clearing when  you feel the urge to deep clean your home (likely this will align with the waning moon). When you feel the urge to clean, clear space, and purge, recognize that this need is not just surface deep. Let it be an indicator of what's happening within you.

3. CORD CUTTING

Try this: lay on your back and go deep. Like, shavasana deep. Sink into the earth. Focus on your breathing as you invite your spirit guide to you (goddess, ancestor, guru, animal, angel, etc).

When your guide arrives she (or he) carries a sword. Watch in your mind's eye as she sharpens the sword. Bring your attention to your womb and visualize all the little tentacles (or energy cords, like electrical lines) that radiate outward to people, situations, etc.

Now, invite your guide to cut away the cords that no longer serve you and that drain your precious creative energy. This is a very powerful visualization I started practicing when I got acquainted with the work of Doreen Virtue.

4. DREAM WORK

Purchase a journal specifically for dream recording. Keep it at your bedside, pen ready. If you're an herbalist, or like working with plant-medicine, harvest mugwort (artemisia vulgaris) with the intent to connect with the feminine-lunar realms. As you harvest, whisper your intention to the herbs.

You could say: help me work with my dreams, help me cleanse my womb, help me release what no longer serves me, etc. Go to sleep when you're tired, with the intention to remember your dreams. (If you don't think you'll remember, you won't). You can also bring your jade egg to sleep with you. Wear it as instructed in our free e-book or place it under your pillow after speaking your intention into it.

Write your dreams down and don't worry about processing or analyzing them right away. First, get into the habit of dream recall. The messages and k n o w i n g will surface as your dream work practice deepens.

5. WORK WITH JADE

Starting a jade egg practice is an incredible way to work with your womb on an energetic level. The womb carries a collective memory, one that is being healed rapidly right now. Do you feel the shift?

Think about this: if there was no way to r e m e m b e r the events or karma of life, what would be the point? How could we measure our growth here? Each and every cell that organizes your body contains memory.

To read more about the healing power of a jade egg practice you can download the second edition of my free e-book How to Start a Jade Egg Practice here.

You can clear the collective and individual memory from your womb, through any of these five steps, to move into a time of great personal clarity, awareness, and co-creative power. We need you in full power. Are you ready?

New Year. New You.

Big Love,

Jillian Xx


WANT MORE?

Go From Overwhelmed to On-Point with Your Purpose Work with the Deeply Supported Mother Workbook

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If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

Then, this is for you. Download it below for instant access. 

 
 
 

7 Effective Ways to Nourish Your Pineal Gland for Increased Feminine Intuition, Connection, and Insight

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Deep within the center of your brain just above the thalamus lives your pineal gland. It produces the hormone melatonin and uses the intake of light (solar and lunar) to regulate your sleep and wake cycles.

The pineal gland also secretes DMT (dimethyltryptamine), a natural substance that is released during experiences of birth, death, dreaming, vision, meditation, and more.

As a woman you’re a creature of intuition, vision, and insight. It's natural for you to access realms of the subconscious through the ebb and flow of your biological cycle.

Today many women are cut off from their intuitive power by the toxic lifestyles that we’ve come to view as normal. Substances like synthetic birth control, pesticides, GMOs, heavy metals, and pharmaceuticals all create a barrier between you and the woman you could be

By nourishing your mind-body you can open the gateway between heaven and earth. You can tap into heightened intuition, clarity, creativity, and the deeper connection with the earth and the cosmos that you long for. 

These seven tips can help you to unlock your intuition and connection to nature's rhythms. If you’ve been traveling this path already they will help you further refine your ability to access your most intuitive self. 

1. Sleep with your shades up. 

I know, you don’t want someone watching you sleep. Really though, how often are folks outside your window at night? Chances are it’s rare.

When you sleep with your shades up you connect your body to the rhythmic light of the moon. Syncing with the lunar phase will regulate your circadian rhythm and reconnect you to the cycles of nature.

When the pineal gland detects light it produces less melatonin.  This is why some women have trouble sleeping around the full moon. If there is a lot of artificial light outside your window syncing with the moon will be less effective.  

2. Avoid sodium fluoride.

I know your dentist says it’s safe for consumption but it’s not. It disconnects you from spiritual insight and keeps you complacent. If it’s in your drinking water, go find a spring. If it’s in your toothpaste go get some that’s fluoride free and organic like this one

3. Get more chlorophyll.

Greens, baby. Get those greens. Drink ‘em. Eat ‘em. Chlorophyll is highly alkalizing to the body and will help you to gently flush out heavy metals (like mercury) that bog your system down and calcify your pineal gland. Some excellent sources of chlorophyll are wheatgrass, spirulina, and chlorella. 

4. Meditate.

Don’t worry about trying to levitate just set aside 15-30 minutes of your day to sit very still. Once you are comfortable, breathe deeply. When you get lost in thought bring your awareness back to your breath.

You can’t do this wrong. This practice will calm your central nervous system, reduce stress hormone production, and repair the adrenal glands which in turn will assist the pineal gland in it’s functions.  

5. Turn off your phone/computer at least an hour before bed.

The bright electric light is disrupting your sleep/wake cycle (circadian rhythm) and the pineal gland’s function. 

As the darkness of night increases so do the pineal gland's secretions of melatonin. This increased flow is disrupted by staring at electronic screens when it's dark.

Does your partner use his phone in bed? Declare a no phone/no tech space and be strict about it. Not only will this help your pineal gland but it'll set you up for more intimacy and rest. 

6. Get down with Chaga tea.

Chaga is a medicinal mushroom that can be taken as tea. Chaga is the richest source of melanin that we know of thus far.

Melanin feeds and nourishes the pineal gland directly. Not sure where to get some? Check out this wildcrafted chaga that we loooove. Really, we swoon just over the jar.

7. Rest while menstruating.

Your period is a time of introspection, release, and rest. Your body will often signal you to slow down through cramps, bleeding, and fatigue.

If you don’t listen the messages will become louder. When you allow yourself rest (especially from all things logical) you create the ideal space for vision, dream-work, and inner knowing. 

The more consistent you are with these tips the better results you will have. 

You’ll begin to make tough decisions quickly from a place of deep inner knowing. Your intuition will speak louder and you’ll listen more readily. You'll get hunches. You'll see signs. Your creativity will flourish and expand. 

Here’s to your inner wisdom you goddess, you. 

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I'd love to hear from you: What's the #1 health ritual that keeps you in tune with your body and inner wisdom? 

With so much Love,

Jillian Xx


WANT MORE?

Go From Overwhelmed to On-Point with Your Purpose Work with the Deeply Supported Mother Workbook

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If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

Then, this is for you. Download it below for instant access.