How to Birth and Heal Like a Boss (Before You're Even Pregnant)

After my son was born at home, I was on fire with the power of the female experience, and started writing a book, Trust Your Body, Trust Your Birth.

In the beginning of the writing process, I heard Australian Midwife, Jane Hardwicke Collings say, "What you learn at the altar of menstruation is what you bring to the altar of childbirth."

A light bulb went off in my heart and I stopped writing that book. My work with women required a course correction. 

If I was to help women make empowered decisions that included navigating birth in a crumbling patriarchal system, we would have to time-travel back to early experiences of menstruation and sexuality, before birth was imminent. 

Menarche, a woman's first period, is a Rite of Passage that is widely overlooked and stripped of spiritual and cultural significance in industrial society. The sacred mystery of your blood (and life itself) could have been celebrated and revered more.

It is the same for birth. Mother's are often celebrated with a shower of things for baby, and not for the experience of transitioning from Maiden to Mother. 

After my light bulb moment, instead of writing articles about how to navigate birth and new motherhood, I began to unearth the relationship that women have to being women.

Being a woman includes having a cyclical nature, waxing and waning cycles of introspection and extroversion, a fluctuation of sexual energy, creativity, and a flow of life that only women truly know.

What does all of this have to do with birthing and healing like a boss?

Reconnecting with your body, your cycle, and your sexual energy will set you up for empowered birth, motherhood, and deeply satisfying relationships, too. 

I teach women how to reconnect with their pelvic space through the Taoist Jade Egg Practice. It's a practice I'd like to see in the hands of every woman. If you're not familiar with what a Jade Egg Practice is yet, check this article out. 

Starting a Jade practice before you walk through Birth + Motherhood is powerful medicine for what's to come.

It will help you tap into areas of your Yoni (vagina) that may be inactive, release energetic patterns from your womb, and prepare you for the physiological aspects of childbirth and postpartum.

Working with your jade can also awaken deeper levels of pleasure for you (enjoy delicious orgasms with ease). Which reminds me, have you read birth advocate Angela Gallo's article on the benefits of Self-Pleasure during labor yet? 

Here Are Three Reasons a Jade Egg Practice Will Help You Birth + Heal Like a Boss (Before You're Even Pregnant):

1. Know Your Body Better

There is nothing more empowering than a woman who knows her body very intimately.

There is an initiation that's been missing from our lineage for too long. In the west, young women are misled to seek understanding of their body through experiences with others. I believe women need to be consciously guided into the self-exploration of their own body, which includes self-pleasure.

You need to know your body well enough to say 'NO' to the ob/gyn when he or she suggests something that may not be necessary for you. You need to know your body well enough to ask for more time before induction. You need to know your body well enough to seek out birth workers that will honor your voice and your needs first.

Your body is your body, is your body. Know it well. This will serve you in every situation. Get to know your body, more specifically your Yoni, before you're a birthing woman.

2. How to Breathe, Relax, + Open Your Pelvis

A Jade practice involves a deep awareness of your pelvic bowl. To insert your jade egg, you bring your attention to your pelvic floor, relax your vaginal opening, and take her in.

Then, to move your jade egg up toward your cervix , you engage your pelvic floor muscles (aka squeeze — like a kegel). To access the full description of this exercise download your free e-book here. 

Then, when you're done with your practice, squat down to release your egg by opening your Yoni (vagina). Once you feel open, actively push your egg out into your hands.

Breath, Surrender, Open, Push. Sound like birth?

A strong, yet supple, pelvic floor changes the experience labor and birth. It can also dramatically reduce the length of labor, and help shift you from pain to pleasure.

3. Postpartum Healing + Restoration

The jade egg is the missing element in every woman's birth kit.

Postpartum care is undergoing a massive revolution at the hands of the mothers and birth workers who know more attention and reverence is needed at this time of integration.

Yes, it will take time for you to restore your mineral supplies, regain pelvic strength, and integrate the physical changes you've experienced, and the jade practice can help to speed your energetic and physical healing.

When the pelvic floor is weak, vital energy, or 'chi' is not contained in the abdominal-pelvic cavity, thereby limiting the energy available for optimal organ functioning.

A strong pelvic floor provides a solid foundation for the containment and circulation of chi throughout the body.

Postpartum healing through the jade practice can occur on an energetic level, helping to move trapped birth energy out of the pelvis that became stuck due to an unexpected cesarean or another trauma.

And the jade healing is always working on a physical level — to strengthen and tone the muscles of the pelvic floor. 

In indigenous populations where the wisdom traditions have been preserved, women know that the womb requires three years minimum to be restored before subsequent pregnancy.

Entering your second pregnancy without a strong pelvic floor + restored womb is not wise according to these traditions. 

My good friend + amazing Doula, Lacey Broussard, has a generous blog series up on optimal fetal positioning that will enlighten you to just how important it is that your body is strong and well aligned prior to birth. Check it out here.

As always, here's to your life, at full-power. You're the boss goddess. And I love you.

If you found this post helpful + informative, share it with your sisters! 

Big Love,
Jillian Xx

As a writer and women's health mentor, Jillian fuses her background in yoga, bodywork, and spiritual healing, to give women the tools they need to step into full power. She believes that pleasure is potent medicine and that sexual energy can be redirected for healing and vitality.

As a writer and women's health mentor, Jillian fuses her background in yoga, bodywork, and spiritual healing, to give women the tools they need to step into full power. She believes that pleasure is potent medicine and that sexual energy can be redirected for healing and vitality.

View our current selection of Jade + Yoni Eggs to see a list of each stone's healing properties.

Want to go deeper? If you're looking to transcend self-imposed limitations through womb clearing,  learn more here. 

Want to go deeper? If you're looking to transcend self-imposed limitations through womb clearing, learn more here. 


WANT MORE?

Go From Overwhelmed to On-Point with Your Purpose Work with the Deeply Supported Mother Workbook

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If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

Then, this is for you. Download it below for instant access. 

 
 
 

The Hidden Problem Inherent in the Word Vagina

jillian-a-anderson-jade-eggs-why-i-dont-like-the-word-vagina

I don't like the word. I never have. Maybe it was the jokes kids made at school. They'd say: 'don't be such a vagina,' or they'd say 'you're such a pussy.'

Later in life, after some soul-searching, and body-embracing, I dove deep into the women's healing arts, and accepted the word, kind of. At least, anatomically, I understood the where, what, and why. But I still didn't like to say vagina. 

Why not Vulva? Great word. Sounds exotic. Feels respectable. It encompasses the totality the female anatomy. Although, vulva still has a neighbor named vagina.

Vagina never hits anyone's ears right. Never. You should have seen the look on the librarian's face when I asked her if she could order the Vagina Monologues for me. I had to be overly confident, so I said it loud, because, I didn't want to whisper.

Because I believe women are strong and vaginas should be talked about, without shame. And why should I have to whisper about something half of us have?

Either way, this experience was an indicator of the discomfort and shame that clouds the realest understanding of the divinely-designed female body, and the topic of sex. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my vagina, I just don't like to call it that. Vagina just doesn't cut it for me. It doesn't sound like anything worth celebrating, though I know it's power very intimately, and though I know that without a vagina, you would not be on earth and reading this right now.

I've done the work to release the guilt, shame, and negativity baggage that comes with being born a female in patriarchal America into a catholic family. But it wasn't until last week that I realized exactly why the word vagina turns me off.

I was reading the dictionary (because I'm like that) and looked up the meaning of Vagina. Get this: Vagina (noun): from the Latin root meaning "sheath for a sword." 

Wait, sheath for a sword, as in, a place for a man to lay his battle weapon? Sheath for a sword, as in, a place to put something... hard? Sheath for a sword, as in a place to put a penis?

Okay, before you say 'this is getting kinda feminist'... I am feminist, and, I love men just as much as I do women. But social issues are personal issues and they all need to be eradicated.

In other words: we've been calling the our female-ness a place for men. All this time. Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal to you. After all, words are just words, right?

No. Words are powerful. Words hold energy. Words are declarations. They have meaning. And that meaning is transferable. And for thousands of years we've been using the words that men chose for us... to talk about us. The wrong words.

This discovery (that vagina = something for man), is part of a much larger problem that I've been intrigued by for a long time.

All over the world, women are taught that their bodies exist for men. Women in Africa are still brutally circumcised so that they will remain good and faithful wives to their 'mates'. Impressionable girls influenced by the judeo-christian system, learn the creation myth in which Eve is born from the rib of Adam.  

The subconscious mind hears: Women, secondary. Male, god. Female, afterthought. 

Millions of little girls are fed the damaging disney diet. You know the story. The pretty princess in distress needs a savior. Here enters the handsome prince to save the day. Too many girls grow up believing they'll be saved or fulfilled, by someone else. Too many girls unknowingly believe that prince charming will arrive to make it complete.

This may not be news: You don't need anyone to validate your existence. You don't need a man to hold your hand through this world. You don't need to be attractive to anyone to be worthy of your desires. You don't need to be a snug fit for a penis to feel good about yourself. And you definitely don't need to wait around any longer. 

I'll say it loud and clear so we can remember our power together: Your worth is not determined by your ability to attract, keep, or please a man. 

The imprecise word vagina, is just a tiny glimpse into the fracture of an out-dated worldview that isn't working.

That worldview is one of male dominance, suppression, and separation. That worldview is one that accepts war and killing, under the guise of freedom, as noble. That worldview is one that perpetuates problems, and doesn't offer solutions. It's the limiting view that keeps women out of the room when important decisions are being made. 

Luckily, the old system is crumbling and the compassionate feminine heart that exists in all genders is resurfacing as humanity grasps to make right the wrongs. Through our outdated language, and in particular, the use of the word vagina, I see the story of the Divine Feminine rising unfurl before my eyes.

Fact: if there were more vaginas who stopped settling for second, stopped playing it safe to be liked, who stood up to speak and give voice to universal pains, and who felt worthy sans external validation, then this planet would be green and lush and fertile and there would be peace. 

Women would be revered, again, and the intelligence of emotional sensitivity would be elevated as a characteristic that is so needed. 

And what's I see is this: when a woman decides that her body is for her own pleasure and fulfillment, and not for the needs of others, she glows the honey golden light of divinity, speaks her hard truths with clarity, and lives a cutting-edge life of the rawest, realest, healing power.

Because a woman that stays small, to be accepted and valued, is leaving full potential living on the table. A woman that fears taking up space, is dying with her song still inside her. 

Back to vagina: How about tunnel of life? How about portal to another dimension? How about you arrived via vagina? A strong vagina works for you first. It is yours. Own it, woman. 

 

 Big Love,

Jillian Xx

 

Re-connect. Awaken. Restore. Start a Jade Egg Practice Today. Download your free e-book here.

jillian-a-anderson-start-a-jade-egg-practice

WANT MORE?

Go From Overwhelmed to On-Point with Your Purpose Work with the Deeply Supported Mother Workbook

deeply-supported-mother-workbook

If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

Then, this is for you. Download it below for instant access.