I'm Learning Not to Let My Emotional State Affect My Business Growth Anymore. You, Too?

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I’m super emotional. All water. Cancer moon, cancer sun, ascendent in Scorpio. In the system of Human Design, I have what’s called ‘Emotional Authority’ which means (you guessed it) emotions and feelings are how I make decisions.

Not logic. Emotions. Feelings.

Yes. Emotions. Feelings. Waves of ‘em. They rise, and they fall — up and down, in and out, heavy and light. They’re my guides.

Sometimes, I’m euphoric, and other times I’m deep inside a bottomless pit. No, I’m not an unstable person — I’m just watery.

I’m working with the flower essence, White Chestnut, right now, and I have to say, I’m feeling consistently joyful. I meditate. I eat whole foods that are non-gmo and pesticide free. I get enough fats and I move my body everyday. I get 8 hours + of good sleep. I do my writing — my purpose-work.

But even when I’m really good, I can be an up and down person.

And being an up and down person who is growing and running a business? Who has decisions to make?

Well, it’s gotten me into a lot of trouble. I mean, talk about lessons on lessons. Sandwiches of lessons. Stacks on stacks of lessons (not cash). Although the lessons do eventually translate into cash. Anyway

In this post I want to sort out a few things together. I want to explore:

  • where do you need to put your emotions aside (if at all) to successfully create your vision, and move forward with your work?

  • what does ‘forcing’ look like vs. what does ‘surrendering’ look like?

  • can ‘pushing through’ actually be healthy?

I can almost hear dozens of voices in my head — you know, colleagues — already responding, “you don’t need to put emotion aside! You need to honor your emotions!”

To which I say: Yeah, yeah. And, no.

Right now, from where I stand: I don’t suggest that my clients NOT show up because they’re IN IT emotionally. I, 95% of the time, recommend they take action. I recognize that sometimes they’re IN IT, because they’re growing and getting out of their comfort zone.

What a cycle, huh? Welcome to entrepreneurship. This is where dreams are made.

It’ll be easier for me to explain my stance on business and emotions, if we talk about the gym for a sec.

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I’m 30-something weeks pregnant right now — nearing the end of my pregnancy — and I’ve been thinking about the gym a lot and how I miss it.

I’m sure a ton of women go to the gym through the end of their pregnancies, but I know myself too well, and I know that I have the tendency to push myself too hard. So, I decided it’s safer for me to be OUT of the gym during this time.

But here’s what I miss most about the gym — and honestly, it’s not what you think it is.

It’s not the burn, or the sauna. It’s not the physical results I get.

It’s actually the mental exercise of showing up whether I feel like it or not — whether I’m in a positive emotional state, or not. Because, you know, I ALMOST NEVER actually feel like going to the gym. That’s right. I ALMOST NEVER feel like going.

If I waited until I was in a positive emotional state to get dressed, show up, and put in the work, I would not go 75% of the time, and I would also not be as fit as I usually am. I DO HAVE STANDARDS, THOUGH.

In enters my #1 point about emotions and business: sometimes you need to just separate the emotion/feeling and SHOW UP. And if you can’t do that, it’s time to take a look at YOUR STANDARDS.

Because if your standards can’t be defined, or clearly expressed, you will never have the inner guidance system in place that’ll allow you to determine when to put your emotions aside vs. when to put the work aside.

Another point I need to make here: I can’t recall one instance over the span of the last 10+ years where I walked out of the gym feeling defeated and down on myself. Not one.

SHOWING UP for your vision, goals, and desires brings a flood of positive emotions and feelings. So, putting in the work, actually has huge potential to shift your emotional state. Why not lean into that, more?

Back to STANDARDS and what I need you to know if you want your business to grow consistently: sometimes you do need to separate the emotion and handle it. And I can take a guess, that if you’re not already DOING THIS, that your standards are wishy-washy, and NOT IN THE PROPER PLACE.

  • What kind of results do you expect?

  • What kind of results do you anticipate having?

  • What kind of results are your standard?

  • What kind of results are your normal?

Can you answer these questions easily? Maybe you’re like the past version of me who just accepted whatever happened because her standards were not clearly defined.

Think about your standards. Maybe journal on them. Then come back here to finish reading this.

Show Up for Your Business Consistently and Your Business Will Show Up Consistently for You

Let’s talk about what it takes to show up for your business consistently (so that your business shows up consistently for you)…

Let’s just say you’re going through a challenging thing with a friend, or your mom, or your partner, and you just feel so freakin’ low about yourself and your life. Your emotions are feeling heavy, and it feels kinda hard to move through it.

And why is nobody signing up to your thing yet?

Let’s just say on the same day you’re supposed to be writing a blog post, sending an email to your email list, posting on Instagram, and doing some marketing/promotion/sales activity…

If you decide that a) you’re just not feeling it today so you b) shrink away from your priorities to c) watch netflix or [insert whatever else you do to avoid the work here] …

AND YOU DO THIS EVERY WEEK OR MONTH AT VARIOUS TIMES, ON AND ON AND ON...

You can bet that your business (and business revenue) is going to follow the pattern of your actions, behaviors, and emotional states. Period. End of story.

I tried it that way, lived it, and am here to tell you the tale! DON’T MESS AROUND WITH YOUR TIME (AND LIFE) LIKE THAT.

Pushing through the resistance and separating your emotional state from the work at hand (instead of constantly riding the emotional wave) can lead you to a completely different place in your life.

I mean, don’t take my word for it — try it yourself.

Look, there’s a difference between a genuine trauma trigger that puts you into fight, flight, or freeze (from which you’ll need to skillfully navigate your way back to mental, physical, and emotional safety) AND letting your emotional state TAKE OVER consistently in your business.

Please, feel all your feelings — but don’t get addicted to them. Don’t decide you need to feel all your feelings for 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 2 months — and then wonder why you’re not making sales consistently.

Now, on Forcing vs. Surrendering

Nothing I have said so far, is meant to be taken as encouragement for you to force things. I don’t want you to force a single thing. I do not advocate you forcing yourself to be happy, or be positive, or be high-energy. I do not advocate any of that!

I want you to forge forward courageously, yes. But force your way? No.

For me, forcing feels like manipulating reality, where forging forward feels like walking steadily and powerfully toward my intended destination.

And then there’s surrender (which leads to the forward movement). And surrender is very simply: complete acceptance. If you can accept completely that you’re not feeling so great about yourself / life / whatever, but that you still have a vision to show up for, BOOM, there ya go — you’ve surrendered.

And you don’t need to lay on the floor about it, or anything. You can actually just get on with the work.

YES, your emotions are powerful teachers for you. They help you to understand yourself and others in highly intelligent ways.

Honor the full spectrum of your emotions. Acknowledge. Feel. Express. Channel.

But please, don’t let your emotional state determine HOW and WHEN you show up for your business/vision, or you’re in for a long, drawn out, choppy ride — one that doesn’t promise arrival to the destination of your choice.

Big Love,

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P.S. Do you know that if you could just get yourself into the RIGHT unstoppable mindset, and develop the right habits, that you could be the prolific creative you came to be?

It’s happening NOW! There’s this juicy Mindset Coaching Bundle I have for You and I need you to know about it!

Together we’ll:

  • move through your excuses and limiting stories that prevent you from showing up for yourself, your work, and by extension — your child/partner/family.

  • create new habits (that support your creative genius) so you know what to focus on daily to create consistent results and build unstoppable momentum

  • take the micro steps you need to take, to create your vision in business and in life — financially, emotionally, and energetically.

It’s super low priced (there’s a payment plan option, too) and it’s going to help you DEVELOP UNSTOPPABLE MOMENTUM.

I don’t know if you realize this, but we’re living in an incredible TIME!

You have SO much to share, and give, and create, and you also have SO MANY INCREDIBLE PLACES to channel that creativity.

Get the juicy details on the Prolific Life Now Mindset Coaching Bundle here, and don’t miss this magic! There are also 2 bonuses!

Get in on the Prolific Now Mindset Bundle here: http://www.jillian-anderson.com/mindset-bundle

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WANT MORE?

Go From Overwhelmed to On-Point with Your Purpose Work with the Deeply Supported Mother Workbook

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If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

Then, this is for you. Download it below for instant access. 

 
 
 

The Problem is When Everybody in the Room Pitches a Tent and Decides to Stay

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Ever walk into a room where people are DEEPLY bonding over their conditions/ailments/pains?

The conversation bounces around the room as everyone talks about their ailments and struggles — while you (a fairly self-aware person) ask yourself: what IS going on here? Does anyone here actually want different results? Do they want to know that it CAN change? 

Even if it’s UNSAID, the vibe is like this: life is not working for me. Because of X, I can’t do/be/have Y. 

I’ve been in plenty of those rooms, and I’ve learned to either:

a) compassionately and intuitively challenge the pain-party
b) leave the room

Side thought: I’m NOT victim shaming. It’s important that those who’re struggling have a safe place to relate, share their story, and process emotions without judgement/criticism/being blamed for the challenging things that have occurred in their lives… 

The problem is NOT needing to work through pain/challenges/struggles. We all need that. 

THE PROBLEM IS WHEN EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM PITCHES A TENT AND DECIDES TO STAY. 

I see and feel this happening with other creatives and entrepreneurs — my PAST self included. 

It looks/sounds like bonding over the sh*t they don’t like in the industry: 

I don’t like how she markets. 

I don’t like how she sells.

She’s ALWAYS selling. 

Her prices are inflated.

Who would pay that?

Her emails are too frequent.

Her blah, blah, blah.

Look at what she’s wearing.

An animal died for that purse. 

She’s launching AGAIN.

What I would like to ask all of the people saying (OR EVEN THINKING) any of the above, is this: 

🔹IS YOUR BUSINESS WORKING FOR YOU? 
🔹DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN HAVE DIFFERENT RESULTS? 
🔹DO YOU KNOW THAT IT CAN CHANGE — THAT YOU CAN GROW?
🔹ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU’RE SEPARATING YOURSELF FROM THE RESULTS YOU WANT?
🔹WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE ALL THAT YOU ARE?
🔹WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LET GO OF THE ILLUSION OF SAFETY SO THAT YOU CAN SOAR?

Seriously. Think about it. 

And if this is speaking to You, join me for my upcoming LIVE WORKSHOP: NEW STORY NOW. 

This workshop is going to anchor you into:

The version of you who is unapologetic and unstoppable. 
The version of you who takes up way more space. 
The version of you who is safe being seen. 
The version of you who is safe as she sells her offerings/services and grows her business/body of work with a TON more momentum, because she’s not… 

Second guessing her every move. 

Isn’t it about time to start trusting yourself more?

To choose the Soul nudges instead of the fear shackles? 

For real: LET’S DO THIS TOGETHER. 

New Story Now | Live Energy-Coaching Workshop Details:

When: March 29th at 6 p.m. EST
Where: on Zoom with me and other women who’re breaking free
Why: because it’s time to archive the limiting stories and do your important and sacred work in a way that feels GOOD and ALIGNED to YOU
Who: creatives, healers, mentors, and entrepreneurial types who’re ready to uncover their own limiting stories and set better foundations NOW

If you can’t make it LIVE there will be a recording you can access and watch again and again and again as you need to.

DID I MENTION that this is the lowest cost thing I have EVER done (unless you count that $19 class I did YEARS ago) so be sure to check out alllllllll the details right here: http://www.jillian-anderson.com/newstorynow

You ready? 

Reserve your seat here: http://www.jillian-anderson.com/newstorynow

Big Love,

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WANT MORE?

Go From Overwhelmed to On-Point with Your Purpose Work with the Deeply Supported Mother Workbook

deeply-supported-mother-workbook

If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

Then, this is for you. Download it below for instant access.