I'm Just a Woman. What On Earth Can I Do? (A Shameless Menstruation Story)

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She squats down in the bathroom, her toes spread to grip the tile floor, and reaches inside herself to retrieve her moon cup. It’s her trusted ally, the eight ounce cup she wears when she's menstruating.

“Aaron? Are you there? Can you bring me a jar?” 

He hands it in through the crack in the door as she reaches for it with her left hand, the moon cup balanced in her right, before she makes the transfer. Blood into jar.

She tops it off with water and it could be pomegranate juice. Healthy. Rich.

She folds her mooncup back in and gives it a squeeze to make sure she's comfortable, just in case. Soap and water, turn off the light, and into the kitchen she goes. It’s a casual thing in their home; a woman standing there, holding a jar of her own blood.

It reminds her of a story she heard, in a time before war, when men desired the superpower that women had; the power of blood. Men gathered in ritual to cut the shaft of the penis.

They wanted to be like us.

She likes this story and doesn't care if it’s true. She does have superpowers. She bleeds every month from within and doesn't die. That blood is life. That blood is the reason every man (and woman) walks the face of the earth.

She's proud to stand in her kitchen with her jar of crimson red.

She finishes up the dishes, while the jar rests on the sill, before she goes to find a sweater. 

Where will I offer you? 

She steps outside, her mind pierced open by the light of a thousand stars, and bathes in the darkness. She remembers that she is small, just a woman on planet Earth. What can she do, here? 

Over the deck toward the backyard, up the cement steps that crawl with mint, and toward the redwood tree they planted for Father’s day, she goes. 

Over nine feet tall it is now; their little slice of California. One day, it’ll eat their house, and people will walk to it from miles away. How’d this tree get here? They’ll come and they’ll wonder. 

She kneels down in front of it and pours her blood into the damp mulch beneath it's lowest branches. They become one.

I’m just a woman on planet earth. What can I do here? 

 

 

I'd love to hear from you: How do you feel about menstruation? Blessing or Curse? If you've gone from feeling cursed to feeling blessed what have been some of the tools, practices, or resources that have helped you along your journey?

Big Love,

Jillian Xx


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Menstruation Matters: How to Rethink Your Period and Rediscover Your Power

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Q: What do your first period and childbirth have in common?

A: They are the first two Rites of Passage that you experience as a woman.

The Rites of Woman:

Menarche - Becoming a Woman, First Blood
Pregnancy + Childbirth- Becoming a Mother (not always physical but can be energetic as in nurturing a project and birthing it into the world). 
Menopause- Becoming a Wise Woman/Elder

Moving through the Rites of Passage is like walking through a door to a new role within your community. A Rite is likely challenging. It's a test of your inner strength and character. 

What you learn at the first Rite of Passage is what you will bring to the second. How you feel about becoming a woman is what you bring to your experience of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. 

The way you were treated at your first period is more important than you think. It determines how you relate to being a woman.

Was your first period hush-hush? Was it just a quiet thing between you and your mom? Was it acceptable to talk about at the dinner table? Were you celebrated in any way? What was your Father’s role? How did you feel about it?

Did you feel blessed, cursed, or indifferent?

Women of native cultures are honored with celebrations at menarche that involve the entire community. Everyone together celebrates the bleeding women. Can you imagine that or is it a  s t r e t c h?

The way we treat the menstruating women is directly related to the way we treat Mother Earth, Gaia, Pachamama, the Planet that we inhabit. Are we honoring Her for her life-giving ability and abundance? 

We are learning to celebrate Her again in the same way that we are learning to celebrate young girls as they become women.

How could not honoring a woman affect our society, culture, and lives so much? There was no actual harm done, right?

Wrong. 

Not honoring her sets her up for lifelong dependency on a man to provide & to decide. (Nothing against the beautiful men just sayin' we need strong & independent women).
Not celebrating her diminishes her well-spring of creative power. 
Not honoring her erodes her self-trust and unhindered intuition.

Because Menstruation Matters I encourage you to Rethink the following:

1. Pain killers for menstrual cramps

Numbing yourself during your period can lead to easily accepting that epidural during labor. Allowing yourself to feel the pain, go into it, and work with the pain can be tremendously powerful, revealing, and help prepare you.

If you’re having bad cramps during your period it’s a signal that your uterus could be misaligned or need to release old menstrual fluid. Maya massage & herbs can help. Yoni steams, too.

2. Tossing your blood in the trash

It can be easy to just toss tampons and pads away. But, where does it end up and where is the honor? When you pay attention to your blood you connect more deeply to your body and your needs. 

The toxins used to make scented tampons and pads are endocrine disrupting and not womb-friendly for the long-term. Cloth pads don't fill land-fills and menstrual cups are mini miracles.

Tossing your blood leads to routinely tossing the placenta after birth (the miraculous and under celebrated organ that nourishes and supports the growth of your babe). 

3. Disregarding your premenstrual + period emotions

What you feel when you are bleeding is very important. You are experiencing a time of release so that your system can renew itself. 

You’re a creative miracle. Just because you feel intensely emotional before or during your period does not mean your feelings are invalid. Disregarding your feelings when you bleed leads to down-playing your instincts during pregnancy, labor, and childbirth.

It’s useful, practical, and productive to face your feelings before you bleed so that you can let it go and get a fresh start. That’s why things surface when they do. It’s a blessing and can accelerate your spiritual growth.

4. Synthetic hormonal birth control

Controlling when you do and don't conceive is mega essential.

Did you know there are other ways to prevent pregnancy that are safe and effective long-term that don't have the same risks as the hormonal methods? 

Read: The Effective Natural Birth Control They Never Taught You  and Don't Fight Your Fertility: How Synthetic Birth Control Is Dulling Your Drive

The truth: you don't have a real period on hormonal contraception. Your entire cycle including menstruation and ovulation is actually suppressed by foreign hormones.

When you're accustomed to your menstrual cycle being regulated by an outside force you're more likely to fall into the system of (well-meaning but harmful) regulation during pregnancy, labor, and childbirth.

Rethink your period to redefine your relationship to being a woman. You deserve to be celebrated and honored.

I'd love to hear from you:

If you had (or do have) a daughter how would you celebrate her first period?

This topic is very close to my heart. If you have any questions or comments don't hesitate to send them my way.

Love & Gratitude,

Jillian Xx





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7 Natural Tips to Kiss PMS Goodbye For Good

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I grew up in a volatile home. It was filled with eruptions of anger that surged forth on a regular monthly basis. My Mother’s eruptions occurred like clockwork and when they did the rest of us could be found walking on eggshells

Whether or not we were cautious enough never seemed to matter, the eruptions happened anyway. My earliest model of a woman displayed an uncontrollable, unstable, and intensely emotional nature. 

She was one person on Saturday and a completely different person by Monday. The highs and the lows confused me. What was normal? My father would forewarn us that she was about to get her period. It was hush- hush but we all knew she was PMSing. 

They told me, “The apple doesn't fall far from the tree” and so I feared. I fought hard against the belief that I would be like that. The quickest way to lite me up was to say “You’re just like your mother.” I would burn in anger for days. 

When my desire to thrive became bigger than my self-pity I decided to become a woman on my own terms. The path was not always clear but I trusted the process. 

I built myself brand new from the ground up. I tapped into the collective mother (aka Goddess). When I realized I was co-creating my life I was able to forgive myself and my mom. I became the woman I wanted to be. 

I learned that emotions are not good or bad. They just are. I realized that extreme mood swings, uncontrollable anger, and instability were not inevitable for me. Deep down I knew that being a woman was not a biological curse. PMS didn't have to be a part of my story.

I want to tell you that you are already whole, divinely-designed, and completely lovable as you are. You can rewrite your story too. You can feel more balance, peace, and clarity by working with your body and not working against it. You can be cleansed and free of old patterns. 

Should the common female experience of PMS really be classified as a syndrome? Or is it possible that so many women experience the same premenstrual symptoms because our society fails to honor and celebrate the true power and spiritual potential of the menstrual cycle?

Premenstrual syndrome is what happens when your true needs are not being met. Like so many women you've been fed the menstruation story of shame, guilt, and suppression. Where is the honor that our first female Rite-of-Passage truly deserves?

You don’t suffer from a syndrome. In fact, there is nothing wrong with you. Your body is communicating to you. Listen and respond. 

7 Natural Tips to Kiss PMS Goodbye for Good: 

Rest: Don’t try to keep up your usual pace. Were you raised in a fast paced competitive environment where accomplishment was valued more than down time? Start to glorify rest. Make it important. When your body asks for it be ready to respond. When you surrender to your body’s needs you will actually increase productivity and creativity. 

Seek solitude: Spend quiet time alone in nature. The more you connect with the natural rhythm of the earth and her seasons the more easily your cycle will balance. There is an order in the wild that is soothing, reassuring, and balanced.

Feel: Let your emotions surface without judging or analyzing them. We are emotional beings. The emotions that arise before we bleed act as messengers. Feelings are powerful, meant to be fully experienced, and can be used to grow personally and spiritually. On the contrary, stifled or blocked emotion creates blockages that limit your potential. 

Ritual: Create a ritual you love and look forward to. Take a hot bath or a long walk alone in the forest. Make a special tea blend or spend ten minutes alone with the moon. Practice gentle yoga or meditation. Start a satisfying and consistent source of self-nourishment.

Journal: Write down what is going on in your life. Write what you are grateful for and what you are working on. Self-reflection will illuminate patterns, challenges, and breakthroughs that you have experienced. Realizations abound.

Moon Gaze: You and the moon operate on the same rhythm. Spend a few minutes with her every night for one month +. The results are nothing short of miraculous. Look forward to increased intuition as well as decreased stress and anxiety.

Release: The emotions that arise before your period are clear indicators of situations, habits, or patterns that you’re being called to release. This is why they arise when they do. When you begin to bleed you’re given the perfect opportunity to let go of whatever no longer serves you. 

I’m not saying it’s going to be glitter and roses all the time. Tough days and challenges are a part of life. However, I am positive that you can attain balance and instead of dreading that time of the month you can look forward to menstruation as a time of guidance, heightened intuition, and spiritual growth.

I'd love to hear from you: Which one of these tips can help you to find more peace every month? Do you have another tip or ritual that helps you stay balanced? 

With So Much Love,

Jillian Xx

 


WANT MORE?

Go From Overwhelmed to On-Point with Your Purpose Work with the Deeply Supported Mother Workbook

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If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

Then, this is for you. Download it below for instant access.