I'm Learning Not to Let My Emotional State Affect My Business Growth Anymore. You, Too?

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I’m super emotional. All water. Cancer moon, cancer sun, ascendent in Scorpio. In the system of Human Design, I have what’s called ‘Emotional Authority’ which means (you guessed it) emotions and feelings are how I make decisions.

Not logic. Emotions. Feelings.

Yes. Emotions. Feelings. Waves of ‘em. They rise, and they fall — up and down, in and out, heavy and light. They’re my guides.

Sometimes, I’m euphoric, and other times I’m deep inside a bottomless pit. No, I’m not an unstable person — I’m just watery.

I’m working with the flower essence, White Chestnut, right now, and I have to say, I’m feeling consistently joyful. I meditate. I eat whole foods that are non-gmo and pesticide free. I get enough fats and I move my body everyday. I get 8 hours + of good sleep. I do my writing — my purpose-work.

But even when I’m really good, I can be an up and down person.

And being an up and down person who is growing and running a business? Who has decisions to make?

Well, it’s gotten me into a lot of trouble. I mean, talk about lessons on lessons. Sandwiches of lessons. Stacks on stacks of lessons (not cash). Although the lessons do eventually translate into cash. Anyway

In this post I want to sort out a few things together. I want to explore:

  • where do you need to put your emotions aside (if at all) to successfully create your vision, and move forward with your work?

  • what does ‘forcing’ look like vs. what does ‘surrendering’ look like?

  • can ‘pushing through’ actually be healthy?

I can almost hear dozens of voices in my head — you know, colleagues — already responding, “you don’t need to put emotion aside! You need to honor your emotions!”

To which I say: Yeah, yeah. And, no.

Right now, from where I stand: I don’t suggest that my clients NOT show up because they’re IN IT emotionally. I, 95% of the time, recommend they take action. I recognize that sometimes they’re IN IT, because they’re growing and getting out of their comfort zone.

What a cycle, huh? Welcome to entrepreneurship. This is where dreams are made.

It’ll be easier for me to explain my stance on business and emotions, if we talk about the gym for a sec.

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I’m 30-something weeks pregnant right now — nearing the end of my pregnancy — and I’ve been thinking about the gym a lot and how I miss it.

I’m sure a ton of women go to the gym through the end of their pregnancies, but I know myself too well, and I know that I have the tendency to push myself too hard. So, I decided it’s safer for me to be OUT of the gym during this time.

But here’s what I miss most about the gym — and honestly, it’s not what you think it is.

It’s not the burn, or the sauna. It’s not the physical results I get.

It’s actually the mental exercise of showing up whether I feel like it or not — whether I’m in a positive emotional state, or not. Because, you know, I ALMOST NEVER actually feel like going to the gym. That’s right. I ALMOST NEVER feel like going.

If I waited until I was in a positive emotional state to get dressed, show up, and put in the work, I would not go 75% of the time, and I would also not be as fit as I usually am. I DO HAVE STANDARDS, THOUGH.

In enters my #1 point about emotions and business: sometimes you need to just separate the emotion/feeling and SHOW UP. And if you can’t do that, it’s time to take a look at YOUR STANDARDS.

Because if your standards can’t be defined, or clearly expressed, you will never have the inner guidance system in place that’ll allow you to determine when to put your emotions aside vs. when to put the work aside.

Another point I need to make here: I can’t recall one instance over the span of the last 10+ years where I walked out of the gym feeling defeated and down on myself. Not one.

SHOWING UP for your vision, goals, and desires brings a flood of positive emotions and feelings. So, putting in the work, actually has huge potential to shift your emotional state. Why not lean into that, more?

Back to STANDARDS and what I need you to know if you want your business to grow consistently: sometimes you do need to separate the emotion and handle it. And I can take a guess, that if you’re not already DOING THIS, that your standards are wishy-washy, and NOT IN THE PROPER PLACE.

  • What kind of results do you expect?

  • What kind of results do you anticipate having?

  • What kind of results are your standard?

  • What kind of results are your normal?

Can you answer these questions easily? Maybe you’re like the past version of me who just accepted whatever happened because her standards were not clearly defined.

Think about your standards. Maybe journal on them. Then come back here to finish reading this.

Show Up for Your Business Consistently and Your Business Will Show Up Consistently for You

Let’s talk about what it takes to show up for your business consistently (so that your business shows up consistently for you)…

Let’s just say you’re going through a challenging thing with a friend, or your mom, or your partner, and you just feel so freakin’ low about yourself and your life. Your emotions are feeling heavy, and it feels kinda hard to move through it.

And why is nobody signing up to your thing yet?

Let’s just say on the same day you’re supposed to be writing a blog post, sending an email to your email list, posting on Instagram, and doing some marketing/promotion/sales activity…

If you decide that a) you’re just not feeling it today so you b) shrink away from your priorities to c) watch netflix or [insert whatever else you do to avoid the work here] …

AND YOU DO THIS EVERY WEEK OR MONTH AT VARIOUS TIMES, ON AND ON AND ON...

You can bet that your business (and business revenue) is going to follow the pattern of your actions, behaviors, and emotional states. Period. End of story.

I tried it that way, lived it, and am here to tell you the tale! DON’T MESS AROUND WITH YOUR TIME (AND LIFE) LIKE THAT.

Pushing through the resistance and separating your emotional state from the work at hand (instead of constantly riding the emotional wave) can lead you to a completely different place in your life.

I mean, don’t take my word for it — try it yourself.

Look, there’s a difference between a genuine trauma trigger that puts you into fight, flight, or freeze (from which you’ll need to skillfully navigate your way back to mental, physical, and emotional safety) AND letting your emotional state TAKE OVER consistently in your business.

Please, feel all your feelings — but don’t get addicted to them. Don’t decide you need to feel all your feelings for 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 2 months — and then wonder why you’re not making sales consistently.

Now, on Forcing vs. Surrendering

Nothing I have said so far, is meant to be taken as encouragement for you to force things. I don’t want you to force a single thing. I do not advocate you forcing yourself to be happy, or be positive, or be high-energy. I do not advocate any of that!

I want you to forge forward courageously, yes. But force your way? No.

For me, forcing feels like manipulating reality, where forging forward feels like walking steadily and powerfully toward my intended destination.

And then there’s surrender (which leads to the forward movement). And surrender is very simply: complete acceptance. If you can accept completely that you’re not feeling so great about yourself / life / whatever, but that you still have a vision to show up for, BOOM, there ya go — you’ve surrendered.

And you don’t need to lay on the floor about it, or anything. You can actually just get on with the work.

YES, your emotions are powerful teachers for you. They help you to understand yourself and others in highly intelligent ways.

Honor the full spectrum of your emotions. Acknowledge. Feel. Express. Channel.

But please, don’t let your emotional state determine HOW and WHEN you show up for your business/vision, or you’re in for a long, drawn out, choppy ride — one that doesn’t promise arrival to the destination of your choice.

Big Love,

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P.S. Do you know that if you could just get yourself into the RIGHT unstoppable mindset, and develop the right habits, that you could be the prolific creative you came to be?

It’s happening NOW! There’s this juicy Mindset Coaching Bundle I have for You and I need you to know about it!

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Get in on the Prolific Now Mindset Bundle here: http://www.jillian-anderson.com/mindset-bundle

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WANT MORE?

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If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

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A Recap on My Human Design Reading: How to Design a Profitable Business By Working in Harmony with Yourself.

Image by: In Her Image Photography

Image by: In Her Image Photography

I recently received a Human Design reading because I was struggling with making decisions in my business. It was liberating in ALL the ways I hoped it would be.

My challenges before the reading were:

Why can’t I stick to my promotional schedule? Why do I always move things around at the last minute? What’s wrong with me that I can’t plan my year (or more) in advance and stick to it? Will I ever be able to scale, or will I continue to work on a moment by moment, quarter by quarter basis.

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How can I design my business to be highly profitable, even though I’m super introverted? Like, I just can’t be on the phone TOO much, or on FB Live or IG stories all the time, because honestly I prefer to be alone and half naked in my yard with a journal and a pen.

How can I design the year so that I have plenty of time to write without disruption — time in which I don’t need to show up live to actively promote anything, without seeing a dip in my income (and ideally seeing it rise, consistently)?

I wanted to know: where am I contorting? Where am I out of harmony with my essence and myself? Where can I realign so that this business truly honors me, and my energy, my ideas, and my mission (which is ironically, financial education + liberation for women).

To be completely honest, I also really wanted to know if I was ON THE RIGHT PATH. I mean, do we ever really know if we’re on the right path? Every step of the way there are a multitude of choices and decisions to make. And to move forward, we have to keep making them. How do I know I’m making the best ones?

So, in enters my sister Jordan, who suggests I see her friend Pilar Lesko, for a Human Design reading. I booked my spot in Pilar’s calendar and excitedly awaited my appointment.

When we began the call, Pilar let me know how much the work I do (The Permission to Prosper work) had positively influenced her, and helped her start charging more for her readings. Wooo!

Then, she opened the call.

I sat back and listened deeply for 90 minutes. She hardly stopped speaking. She did check in on me intuitively, but the reading was really a stream of information coming through her, while I stayed receptive, took notes, and drew pictures in my journal to help me remember things.

A thousand realizations occured, but in relation to running a business in alignment with my essence and Human Design type (I’m a generator), here’s what was affirmed:

+ Some of us are NOT supposed to have five year plans. For some of us (me!), a five year plan feels like forcing. Some business experts would say, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there” to which I smile, nod, and pretend I have a clue where this is all going.

+ I actually don’t need to make things happen (initiate things). I need to sit back and allow things to happen, and respond to them based on feeling. I also need to give myself ample time to decide. Side note: Manifestors can successfully initiate, generators (and manifesting generators) are better off waiting to respond, projectors are designed to wait for an invitation, and reflectors must wait longer than all the other types to make decisions.

+ The business experts out there, with models that are working for them, might not actually run a model that works for you. OMGosh. I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars to study with various business experts. Publicity experts. A multi-six-figure business coach. Online business experts. Marketing + strategy experts. Events. Programs. You name it. And, I’ve emulated models that might be profitable for me, but won’t feel GOOD on me, in the long term.

+ My authority type in Human Design is emotional authority, which means that my emotions determine how I make decisions. This means, I make decisions that are not logical, they are based on feeling. I gotta say, those of you out there who have emotional authority, and are entrepreneurs, will be challenged. Sometimes as an entrepreneur, making last minute changes to your plans, based on your feelings, can throw your team off, or your calendar off. For me, I realized I need to be way more devoted to my morning practice that grounds me. I also realized I needed to inform my team that moving things around and making these feeling-based decisions, is MY BEST WAY.

+ There is NO ONE RIGHT WAY. You can design your business, and your business model, the way you want to. Don’t want to take 1:1’s? Don’t. Don’t want to launch more than once a year? Don’t. Don’t want to launch at all? Don’t. You can go the evergreen route. There are so many ways to do this.

+ I have A LOT of energy for what I love. I like to work. It’s how I roll. I check things off the list and I keep going. And, I was SHAMING myself for this, because my good friend is a projector and isn’t really designed to work like me. I thought things like: I’m a total product of the patriarchy. I should rest more. I should probably not want to work. I should slow down, etc. Turns out, all the ‘shoulds’ were not serving me. I’m supposed to roll like this. How. Liberating. I can just be myself. I can work in harmony with this natural desire to burn energy, and make sh*t happen.

Now, Human Design is complex. And by now, you’re probably wondering what your Design type is (if you don’t already know). If you know your type, you’re probably wondering how you can work more in harmony with your essence, make great decisions, make the most of your energy, and access your unique strengths, as you design a business that FEELS GOOD to you.

The great news?

A special collaboration with Pilar Lesko is HERE, and it’s going to help you design a business that you Love and feel nourished by, and not one you want to secretly burn to the ground.

It’s called the Human Design Your Business Group Reading + Coaching Session and you can find all the details about it here: https://www.jillian-anderson.com/human-design-business/

If you’re just getting started, it’s going to save you time, energy, and money. You’ll learn what you need to about your specific type, AND the business model/marketing strategies, that would work really well for you.

Get all the Details + Reserve Your Seat in Human Design Your Business Here!

Thanks for reading + talk soon!

Big Love,

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Disclaimer: I am NOT a human design expert, nor do I claim to be. Also: the above realizations were specific to various elements of my personal chart, and may not apply to you.


WANT MORE?

Go From Overwhelmed to On-Point with Your Purpose Work with the Deeply Supported Mother Workbook

deeply-supported-mother-workbook

If you want to:

  • identify what needs to come off your plate NOW

  • map (and start to magnetize) your ideal support system with one of my favorite exercises (SO YOU CAN SHIFT INTO TRULY THRIVING)

  • get instant insight on doing work and motherhood on your own terms 

  • take the next-level action steps you’ve been avoiding

Then, this is for you. Download it below for instant access.