I’m super emotional. All water. Cancer moon, cancer sun, ascendent in Scorpio. In the system of Human Design, I have what’s called ‘Emotional Authority’ which means (you guessed it) emotions and feelings are how I make decisions.
Not logic. Emotions. Feelings.
Yes. Emotions. Feelings. Waves of ‘em. They rise, and they fall — up and down, in and out, heavy and light. They’re my guides.
Sometimes, I’m euphoric, and other times I’m deep inside a bottomless pit. No, I’m not an unstable person — I’m just watery.
I’m working with the flower essence, White Chestnut, right now, and I have to say, I’m feeling consistently joyful. I meditate. I eat whole foods that are non-gmo and pesticide free. I get enough fats and I move my body everyday. I get 8 hours + of good sleep. I do my writing — my purpose-work.
But even when I’m really good, I can be an up and down person.
And being an up and down person who is growing and running a business? Who has decisions to make?
Well, it’s gotten me into a lot of trouble. I mean, talk about lessons on lessons. Sandwiches of lessons. Stacks on stacks of lessons (not cash). Although the lessons do eventually translate into cash. Anyway…
In this post I want to sort out a few things together. I want to explore:
where do you need to put your emotions aside (if at all) to successfully create your vision, and move forward with your work?
what does ‘forcing’ look like vs. what does ‘surrendering’ look like?
can ‘pushing through’ actually be healthy?
I can almost hear dozens of voices in my head — you know, colleagues — already responding, “you don’t need to put emotion aside! You need to honor your emotions!”
To which I say: Yeah, yeah. And, no.
Right now, from where I stand: I don’t suggest that my clients NOT show up because they’re IN IT emotionally. I, 95% of the time, recommend they take action. I recognize that sometimes they’re IN IT, because they’re growing and getting out of their comfort zone.
What a cycle, huh? Welcome to entrepreneurship. This is where dreams are made.
It’ll be easier for me to explain my stance on business and emotions, if we talk about the gym for a sec.
I’m 30-something weeks pregnant right now — nearing the end of my pregnancy — and I’ve been thinking about the gym a lot and how I miss it.
I’m sure a ton of women go to the gym through the end of their pregnancies, but I know myself too well, and I know that I have the tendency to push myself too hard. So, I decided it’s safer for me to be OUT of the gym during this time.
But here’s what I miss most about the gym — and honestly, it’s not what you think it is.
It’s not the burn, or the sauna. It’s not the physical results I get.
It’s actually the mental exercise of showing up whether I feel like it or not — whether I’m in a positive emotional state, or not. Because, you know, I ALMOST NEVER actually feel like going to the gym. That’s right. I ALMOST NEVER feel like going.
If I waited until I was in a positive emotional state to get dressed, show up, and put in the work, I would not go 75% of the time, and I would also not be as fit as I usually am. I DO HAVE STANDARDS, THOUGH.
In enters my #1 point about emotions and business: sometimes you need to just separate the emotion/feeling and SHOW UP. And if you can’t do that, it’s time to take a look at YOUR STANDARDS.
Because if your standards can’t be defined, or clearly expressed, you will never have the inner guidance system in place that’ll allow you to determine when to put your emotions aside vs. when to put the work aside.
Another point I need to make here: I can’t recall one instance over the span of the last 10+ years where I walked out of the gym feeling defeated and down on myself. Not one.
SHOWING UP for your vision, goals, and desires brings a flood of positive emotions and feelings. So, putting in the work, actually has huge potential to shift your emotional state. Why not lean into that, more?
Back to STANDARDS and what I need you to know if you want your business to grow consistently: sometimes you do need to separate the emotion and handle it. And I can take a guess, that if you’re not already DOING THIS, that your standards are wishy-washy, and NOT IN THE PROPER PLACE.
What kind of results do you expect?
What kind of results do you anticipate having?
What kind of results are your standard?
What kind of results are your normal?
Can you answer these questions easily? Maybe you’re like the past version of me who just accepted whatever happened because her standards were not clearly defined.
Think about your standards. Maybe journal on them. Then come back here to finish reading this.
Show Up for Your Business Consistently and Your Business Will Show Up Consistently for You
Let’s talk about what it takes to show up for your business consistently (so that your business shows up consistently for you)…
Let’s just say you’re going through a challenging thing with a friend, or your mom, or your partner, and you just feel so freakin’ low about yourself and your life. Your emotions are feeling heavy, and it feels kinda hard to move through it.
And why is nobody signing up to your thing yet?
Let’s just say on the same day you’re supposed to be writing a blog post, sending an email to your email list, posting on Instagram, and doing some marketing/promotion/sales activity…
If you decide that a) you’re just not feeling it today so you b) shrink away from your priorities to c) watch netflix or [insert whatever else you do to avoid the work here] …
AND YOU DO THIS EVERY WEEK OR MONTH AT VARIOUS TIMES, ON AND ON AND ON...
You can bet that your business (and business revenue) is going to follow the pattern of your actions, behaviors, and emotional states. Period. End of story.
I tried it that way, lived it, and am here to tell you the tale! DON’T MESS AROUND WITH YOUR TIME (AND LIFE) LIKE THAT.
Pushing through the resistance and separating your emotional state from the work at hand (instead of constantly riding the emotional wave) can lead you to a completely different place in your life.
I mean, don’t take my word for it — try it yourself.
Look, there’s a difference between a genuine trauma trigger that puts you into fight, flight, or freeze (from which you’ll need to skillfully navigate your way back to mental, physical, and emotional safety) AND letting your emotional state TAKE OVER consistently in your business.
Please, feel all your feelings — but don’t get addicted to them. Don’t decide you need to feel all your feelings for 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 2 months — and then wonder why you’re not making sales consistently.
Now, on Forcing vs. Surrendering
Nothing I have said so far, is meant to be taken as encouragement for you to force things. I don’t want you to force a single thing. I do not advocate you forcing yourself to be happy, or be positive, or be high-energy. I do not advocate any of that!
I want you to forge forward courageously, yes. But force your way? No.
For me, forcing feels like manipulating reality, where forging forward feels like walking steadily and powerfully toward my intended destination.
And then there’s surrender (which leads to the forward movement). And surrender is very simply: complete acceptance. If you can accept completely that you’re not feeling so great about yourself / life / whatever, but that you still have a vision to show up for, BOOM, there ya go — you’ve surrendered.
And you don’t need to lay on the floor about it, or anything. You can actually just get on with the work.
YES, your emotions are powerful teachers for you. They help you to understand yourself and others in highly intelligent ways.
Honor the full spectrum of your emotions. Acknowledge. Feel. Express. Channel.
But please, don’t let your emotional state determine HOW and WHEN you show up for your business/vision, or you’re in for a long, drawn out, choppy ride — one that doesn’t promise arrival to the destination of your choice.
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