It’s all related. Money and motherhood. Stress and triggers.
How you mother, is affected by how you money. There’s no way around it. So it’s probably a good idea to heal it — with just as much determination, motivation, and drive as a person determined to heal the triggers that stem from their childhood trauma.
How are YOU doing money right now? Really, how are you feeling about money right now? Do you feel free? Or constricted?
I know mothers who’ve stayed (or are staying) in so-so and even abusive relationships because of… money. They don’t have enough income to live as a single parent right now and to support their children to their standards.
I know a mother who lives on the Jersey shore who’d much rather be living in Vermont, but she stays in Jersey, because her husband loves it, and he has... the money.
I know a woman who is not getting the midwife she actually wants because the CNM is covered by insurance but the laid back and hand’s off CPM she vibes better with, is not covered, and she doesn’t have the extra money to pay out of pocket, on top of the cost of her unpaid maternity leave.
I myself have made hundreds of decisions based on what I felt was available to me, and what was not, and like every woman in that place, I’ve wondered: how do I blow the lid off of this thing and CREATE + HAVE an unlimited way of living?
I’ll be the first to say (if it hasn’t already been said) that money makes me a better mommy.
Money and the incoming flow of more than enough money allows me to be more present, and grounded with my child (soon to be children). From that place, I think creatively. There exists expansion and possibility. It allows me to serve better, and to make better choices.
But when income dips or expenses increase, or both at the same time (we could talk about the energetics of this in another post) mommy might be pulled under by feelings of stress, worry, or fear...
And that’s when the triggers are easily triggered. That’s when the cortisol is high and the energy is frantic and she burns the toast and drops the avocado. That’s when her trigger buttons are bigger, and her focus is scattered.
Let’s dial this in even more because it’s not just the money that makes you a better mommy, it’s your relationship with the money that makes you a better mommy.
Because there are people who’re triggered at EVERY LEVEL.
There are people who start to worry when their account drops below 10k, just as there are people who start to worry when their account drops below 100k, just as there are people who start to fear when their account goes below $50 or into overdraft, and everything in between and beyond.
So is it more accurate to say that HAVING MORE THAN ENOUGH makes you a better mommy?
Yes. It’s that energy — that abundant, expansive energy — that changes everything.
And how do you get there and sustain that energy? How do you live from a place of freedom and expansion and trust? How do you create MORE THAN ENOUGH? More than enough FOR YOUR SOUL TO DECIDE?
You do the WORK — the self-worth work.
You do the WORK — the mind-set work.
You release blame, and shame, and not-enoughness.
You take the next inspired step.
You get clear.
You ALLOW more, into YOUR BODY and life.
You see HER (your future self) and you lean into HER, everyday.
You forgive people and release people.
You surround yourself with people who GET IT and SEE YOU.
You show up and CREATE what you feel called to create — not because it’s logical, but because it fuels you and lights you up and guides you forward.
You make daily decisions that feel hard/scary/uncomfortable.
You CLAIM it for yourself.
And you don't stop.