Have you ever felt ashamed about how much money you make in your business? Like, you should be further ahead by now?
Have you ever felt ashamed about how much money you make/have in general?
Have you ever felt ashamed about your lifestyle, home, car, or any other material aspect of your life?
Just last week I was confronted with my own shame. And up until that day, under the illuminating light of the full moon in Libra, I had no idea I was even feeling shame.
As I was going through a tapping script (Emotional Freedom Technique) on the front porch, I became acutely aware of all the areas in my life I had been feeling shame.
I felt shame for all the things that were broken/not working right, in our cabin.
I felt shame getting into my car, because it didn’t feel clean enough. I felt shame about the cracked muffler I hadn’t fixed yet.
I felt shame about our oven that takes a decade to preheat.
I felt double shame about taking money out of my savings account to invest in a coach, instead of being able to pay with my income.
I felt shame about all the financial support I’ve received in my life, while I made my business sustainable.
Then, and finally, I felt deeply ashamed of myself.
Where did all this shame come from? In sitting with all of it, under the full moon, I realized that you only feel ashamed when you don’t feel GOOD ENOUGH.
Shame, noun: 1. a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
When you don’t feel good enough, you’re making yourself wrong for something.
What’s the earliest memory you can conjure of feeling like you did something WRONG, of feeling not enough? Take a deep breath and go there.
Your life is not going to ever be perfectly complete. You can have it all, but not all at once.
You will always be creating, expanding, shifting, and dreaming. You will always be reaching. There is an energy in you that will forever desire expansion. It’s your true nature.
You will always be manifesting, taking what you’ve learned, and aligning with what’s next.
You know what the opposite of shame is?
Self-Respect. Pride — not ego pride, but the energy of being PROUD of yourself!
If you don’t feel PROUD of yourself, where you're at with your work/business/life right NOW, you’re going to take a sense of ‘not enoughness’ with you wherever you go.
And that’s not your truth.
I know it’s not.
Back to shame:
A few of the mentors I’ve been following recommend that you declutter the things in your life that are broken, shame producing, or ‘economy class’ to up-level your life AND I had fully prescribed to that recommendation, thinking: if I just eliminate all the things in my life that don’t feel ‘enough’ that will make space for my new normal.
Prescribing to that logic is like… prescribing to the belief that you need to get your gallbladder removed to prevent gallbladder attacks, instead of going deep into the ROOT CAUSE and asking: why is this happening, why is this manifesting in my life?
Attempting to remove the external manifestations of shame, won’t start the SHIFT into what’s new + next for you.
You can eliminate the things in your life that you’re ashamed of, or embarrassed about, but if you don’t look for the ORIGIN of the manifestation of those things, then you will continue to experience those things. You follow?
This is how manifestation works. And this is why it’s all about SELF-WORTH.
I want to take you through an exercise with me today that will help you shift shame.
On a piece of paper, in a column on the left hand side, I want you to make a list of any/all of the things you’ve been ashamed of/embarrassed about.
Then, on the right hand side, I want you to flip the script. I want you to write down the reasons why you’re proud of yourself, why you respect yourself ANYWAY.
All success is built on emotional mastery.
Getting to know the emotions you feel, on the deepest level, is vital.
Take it even deeper:
+ Brag about yourself (to yourself, or to your journal, or to someone you trust) until you feel a true and solid sense of self-pride and self-celebration. You're amazing, you know?
+ Journal on forgiveness. Who was the last person you forgave? Why? Is there anyone who shamed you in the past? Can you release them for it?
“I now lovingly cultivate pride and respect for myself and the lifestyle I have created.”
I Love You,